An, Ann n Anny: Good Grief! Is It Strange To Meet My High School Demon Lord On The Street?!!
An, Ann n Anny: Good Grief! Is It Strange To Meet My High School Demon Lord On The Street?!! is a short, comedic Ed, Edd n Eddy fanfiction starring the adult genderbent cast. It mainly parodies manga and anime clichés, though also sneaks in (internet) politics of current relevance. It was more or less requested by an anonymous Tumblr user, though their question merely asked "Would u make a type of an Ann n anny stories where they are adults and all meet up and bumped into the kankers or something". The story consists out of 5 chapters, or episodes, and were all uploaded at Tumblr in the form of text posts. The first chapter was written on November 22, 2019, and each following chapter appeared a day later. Plot The story plays off in "Tokyo, Canada USA" and begins with the Ans waking up and finding themselves to be late for work. They each have their own way of dealing with it, but it always results in them going around a street corner and then bumping into their respective Kanker brother/demon lord. An offers little response to meeting Jay, while Ann and Larie are described to enter sexual shenanigans, and Anny accidentally kills Tee; who is then reborn as a bat in another world. Anny is sentenced for her crime, and meets a random wizard in prison, who sends her to that same world. Ann then has an unwanted pregnancy and Larie tries to please her by taking on the burden for a day. At that moment, his brother Jay shows up and the two get into an argument over the supposed prophecy that states Larie will become the ruler of Hell, while Jay is dubbed the runt of the family. In the other world, Anny and Tee have been hitting it off and she starts to wonder if she's developed a crush on him. Back in a McDonald's in Tokyo, Ann and Larie meet up with Jay again, who has transformed into a hideous demon and wants to fight Larie. An is there too, seemingly assisting Jay. Ann tries to talk sense into her, but she refuses to listen. Anny and Tee then show up from a portal to help Ann and Larie, and An departs promising to be the villain and make a return. Chapters The full chapters, as they were published: EPISODE 1 (Nov 22, 2019) (Click "Expand" to read this chapter)> It was a sunny morning in Tokyo, Canada USA. There wasn’t a single problem in the world that day, except for anyplace else outside of Tokyo. The Joker movie made 10 people slightly uncomfortable, child molesters still had rights, and religious terrorists failed to erase all the infidels like Allah requested hundreds of years ago. Anyway, Tokyo wasn’t perfect either, as three young women were late for their first day of work. “Nani! I’m late!” the first main character on screen shouted upon opening her eyes and seeing the alarm clock next to the bed that informed her she was indeed very nani. Her name was Anny. She was pink. She sprinted out of the front door with a piece of buttered toast in her mouth. It was the only breakfast she had time for to prepare. Right when she started picking up the pace and moved around the street corner, she bumped into a redhaired man. He was violently launched five streets away and never seen again, because he was reported dead later that evening, but his soul had likely teleported to a video game harem world where he got rebirthed as a gay bat enemy. Anny was arrested for having powerful booty. Anyway, meanwhile, a few hours earlier, that same morning, half a minute after Anny had awakened, the second most important character in the entire cartoon universe shot up from bed. “Dear me, say it ain’t so! I’m late for my first day of my first day of my first job for the first time!” she concluded with panic in her voice. It was rule 63 Double D, who ironically possessed no double Ds. She had the hardest life out of the three women. In Tokyo, having a flat chest was apparently the funniest, yet most shameful thing ever. I dunno. “I’m too fragile to make use of the functional legs I was graced with during my creation in the womb of my female biological parent, I need to take the bus!” this pathetic wench uttered and headed straight for the bus stop. Right on time! The bus drove off with a piece of buttered toast in its mouth. It was the only breakfast it had time for to prepare, as it was also late. Right when it started picking up the pace and moved around the street corner, it bumped into a bluehaired man. The bus was violently launched five streets away. “HEH!” the man smirked, “Nothin’ personal, bus, it’s not your fault my power level exceeds yours! I was born with defense +1000 and am destined to follow my father’s footsteps as the new ruler of Hell, as predicted by king Solomon from the Bible two years ago!” He stretched his arms behind his back -as to take on the perfect form- and speeded towards the defeated vehicle. He mercilessly took the delicious toast from its lopsided mouth, then saw the scrawny rule 63 Lolita-Edd (officially: “LolEddta” as stated by Nintendo) with the inverted boobs dragging herself away from the wreckage. “Muffin-chan?!” the man shouted. “L-Larie-kunt!” she purposely misspoke. “It’s been 150 years since you summoned me; your DEMON LORD! I’m glad we’ve reunited, let’s get lewd.” It went without saying that rule 63 Edd did not go to work that day and was forced to engage in comical perversion for the rest of the season. A week later, the last main character woke up. “Ah, it’s early, I can take my time with my toast.” she believed. It was An. She was yellow and also had a quirky secret no one was allowed to know, which I won’t tell, either. She leisurely put some bread in the toaster, but upon opening the refrigerator, saw there was no butter. An crapped a single tear. Looked like there wasn’t going to be any.. buttered toast. She exited the house with the piece of unbuttered, inferior toast in her mouth, because An preferred to devour her meals like a literal animal. Right when she started picking up the pace and moved around the street corner, she bumped into a blondhaired man. They both fell onto the pavement. The man stood up and romantically reached out his hand to her. “D-.. Daijobu desu ka?” he nervously asked. “No.” An answered. THE END ---- EPISODE 2 (Nov 23, 2019) (Click "Expand" to read this chapter)> Tokyo, Canada USA. It was a sunny day still, since only a week had passed since the last episode, so whatever time of the year this plays off in, it’s still going on. Last time, Anny got arrested, an innocent bus was murdered by Ann’s demon lord, and An said the word “no“. Back to where we left off! The camera pans to a highly secured island prison.. “So, what’re you in here for?” a character that didn’t matter asked a character that did matter. “I killed a small ginger by moving around a street corner.” Anny explained, ”It happened so fast, I couldn’t even see if he was hot and I should care.“ “Gingers are minorities, you’re gonna get Twitter-molested and perhaps arrested for this. Also, boy redheads never are.” “I’ve been arrested!” Anny replied in shock, “How did ya know this already happened?!” “Mmmm!!!” the person moaned confidently, “That’s because I’m actually important to the story! I’m a WIZARD OR SOMETHING and I’m going to send you to another world!” This happened alot in Tokyo. Without first asking if she had friends, family, or pets waiting for her at home, Anny was magicked away! She fell into a field of grass and looked at the dangerous creatures standing around, waiting for their cue to be intimidating. The moment the camera focused on Anny and she realized her predicament, they attacked! Anny screeched, but was saved in time by some type of flying mammal who was unfairly overpowered. “Anny! It’s me!” the common video game enemy choice spoke, “I’m a little gay bat!” “Who.” Anny asked with high amounts of confusion, detectable in her face and tone of voice and overall body language. “Tee Kanker! Your demon lord from high school you ass-slammed a week ago!” “Masaka..!” Anny panted with high amounts of surprise, detectable in her face and tone of voice and overall body language. Meanwhile, back in Tokyo, loli-Edd and Larie were going through a series of funny misunderstandings involving sexual contact, because that’s top class humor right there and no normal thinking human being would just exit out of those kinds of time-wasting animes to watch proper hentai. Now at An’s house, who had remained butterless and also lost her job. Her high school demon lord, Jay, had invited himself in without her permission because of patriarchy. “I see you’re sad, big An-chan.” Jay remarked, ”You should ask me for a wish, demon lords are genies sometimes.” “No.” An answered. THE END ---- EPISODE 3 (Nov 24, 2019) (Click "Expand" to read this chapter)> It was a snowy day because it’s video game world and not Tokyo. Anny the pink and Tee the ginger were taking shelter in a cave, though Tee was in actuality an ex-ginger as the reincarnation of a bat. “I’m sorry you’re gay now, but how do I get home?“ Anny asked impatiently. “I’ve got it all figured out, baby!” Tee grinned as he tapped the temple of his head with his wing, “We’re gonna think there’s a way, but never succeed in finding one and just forget about it and keep living in this cursed semi-medieval world while pretending it’s better than modern times even though there’re no female hygiene products, lasagna or memes here.“ “Fantastic!” she cheered. Back in Tokyo, rule 63 Edd had an unwanted pregnancy and it was super funny. “Larie!” LolEddta© cried, “You kissed me and now I’ve started the development of an organic project I do not have time for!” Larie’s vocal bagpipes fired off a villainous laugh. He finished four days later and turned to her: “Don’t be lazy.“ “I’m an independent woman!” she insisted, she really did, ”That means I can’t do anything that’s considered slightly feminine, like producing offspring. This is the future of womankind, Larie, and it’s your job as an ally to make me a man!” “Alright!” he rofl’ed, “I’ll be pregnant, but only this time. Tomorrow, YOU’RE pregnant again.” “Oh, Larie!” she squealed with delight. Gender equality was truly a beautiful thing. Then suddenly, the doorbell rang, like ♪- dong ding -♫. It was backwards and displeased everyone, but one of those things that couldn’t be changed. It was a fact of life, like gravity and Chris-chan. Double Ann had tried many hammer techniques and gone through many mechanics, but they always headed for her dishwasher instead like incorrectly programmed Sims characters. She didn’t even have a dishwasher; turned out these guys kept subtly changing her toaster and built it into one. They had taken away her only means of making toast and it pained her. Her toaster was now a dishwasher. She’d never be able to run out of the home late with toast in her mouth again. 9/11 was an inside job. Super Mario 63 answered the door and there stood her good friend, An. “Hello, good friend An.“ she greeted her good friend. “Double N! I bumped into my high school demon lord and now he won’t leave!“ An greeted back. “So have I! It was inevitable after we summoned them into this reality with the blood of our parents..“ “Blood of-..? I did no such thing?“ Then Jay showed up and he and Larie made immediate eye contact. They were like cool, hostile wolves, whose image was still untouched by Fur Affinity artists. “Brother..!“ Jay hissed. “..Well well, it’s the runt!“ Larie grinned, “How does it feel to have a small fanbase?“ “Brother! You make fun of me now, but I promise you that I’LL become the ruler of Hell before you!” “PEH!” he scoffed, “Not so! The Bible has predicted my reign and everyone knows the Bible is honest and true, runt!“ Annward quickly grabbed his shoulder and tried to defuse the situation. “Please, Larie-kun!“ she squeaked, “You’re pregnant today!“ Jay turned around and huffed loudly as he walked off. He knew what he knew and knew that he knew he knew he’d become the ruler of Hell! If Larie was indeed pregnant, that would only affect his career! That’s how that worked! As far as Jay was concerned, the job was as good as his..! THE END ---- EPISODE 4 (Nov 25, 2019) (Click "Expand" to read this chapter)> Today our story starts in video game world! So it’s the same as last time, I apologize for getting your hopes up. “Tee, I’ve contracted rabies and leprosy.“ Anny announced. “Already?!“ he complained, ”You gotta chill, babe, you always jump into things head-first!“ The two adventurers then arrived at their destination: Amsterdam! It was a big town with many stores and tulips for Chinese tourists to take pictures of, the right place to stock up on gear and tulips and the Chinese. “Oh, there’s an Amsterdam here too?“ Anny asked. “There’s an Amsterdam here, an Amsterdam in Europe, one in Africa, there were two in America..” Tee replied, ”Amsterdam is literally everywhere, in fact, the Dutch have visited all realities in existence.“ “These people sure like to colonize, but too bad they can’t think of a different name for their settlements.“ she muttered, shaking her head to the embarrassing absence of creativity present, or rather not, within the Dutch population. They entered the busy marketplace, but the moment they showed their faces, millions of cute girls ambushed them. “They’re here for me.“ Tee clarified. “Oh.“ Anny responded with heart-crushing disappointment and entered stage 4 depression. Everyone loved Tee, despite him being a disease-ridden bat. Ever since he showed up, he proved himself to be unkillable, so all there was left to do was kiss his ass. Anny looked at him. She wondered if she had fallen for him as well, after all, they spent two whole days together and those days were more impactful than the many childhood years they shared prior. Apparently. Anny dramatically grabbed her shirt and tearfully turned her head as sad music started to play. I’m thinking “Suteki Da Ne“ from Final Fantasy X, someone please turn it into an AMV and get demonetized lol. She knew Tee would never pick her with so many contenders for body pillows to choose from. It was hopeless.. MEANWHILE AGAIN, female Edd and Larie were at an expensive restaurant, having dinner. “Are you finishing that Big Mac.” Larie asked. “You can have it.“ she replied and rested her head on the palm of her hands with a defeated look on her face as she was resting her head on the palm of her hands. “What’s going on the matter, muffin-chan?” “I’ve been thinking about your destiny.. where do I fit in?” “Oh! We’re in love?” Larie asked 500pc puzzled, ”I didn’t know you mattered, I thought our relationship was jokes.” “We’re married and have five children!” womanly Edd growled. “Yeah, for jokes!“ Suddenly, a demonic figure jumped from the ball pit and flipped their table. Lady Edd and Larie were sort of surprised. “I see I surprised you!“ the demon cackled, “Remember me?!” “It can’t be..!” Larie gasped. “Oh, but it can be!” the demon bellowed as he pulled out an ominous sword from his assistant’s cleavage, “..And it is! I got a new style.. and a few new toys that are gonna put an END to your happily ever after.. ONCE AND FOR ALL!” “An!” vaginal Edd yelled upon recognizing the assistant, “You’re this thing’s scabbard?!” “This thing.. IS MY BROTHER, JAY!” Larie revealed. Gasps filled the restaurant, even though none of these clowns even knew Jay or Larie, so it was kinda unwanted fake concern, but alright.. “Yes! It is I!“ Jay smiled, “I’ve trained hard and long since yesterday and acquired our father’s legendary sword! This weapon has accepted me as its master and transformed me! My power level has tripled and I have gained many skills, like harvesting!“ “The forbidden skill!” Larie yelped. The situation was getting out of hand and X-chromosomed Edd wanted to make sure her friend wasn’t going to get hurt in the commotion. “An!“ she yelled again, “Snap out of it!” “Um, I’m a hired employee, Double N.” An said. Her response made her heart sink. “N..an desu ka..?“ “You see, I lost my job and haven’t been able to restock on butter ever since..” she continued, while flashback scenes played behind her for further context. ”B-Being a demon’s living toolbox is not the answer, An!” genderbenderbitchswitched Edd quickly replied. “Do you know what it’s like, Double N?!?!! Having toast without butter!?” An suddenly roared with rage. Hot tears fell down her tensed-up face. “An.. Oh, An..“ “Never before have I felt so abandoned by God! Abandoned by my friends!” she choked, “I thought my high school demon lord was a curse, but he’s a blessing, Double N! He promised butter! Buttered toast shall become a fact once again, Double N!” Double Nedd ran towards her and tightly held her hands. “I can empathize..! My toaster is a dishwasher, I know the suffering of incomplete toast! But I’ve chosen to walk the path of light!” An cold-bloodedly pushed her away. “You know nothing.. Double N!” She then drew a chicken from her forehead and pointed it at her. She flinched. Was she really going to fight her, her closest friend? The animal’s beak menacingly targeted her non-existent chest with a loud “BAW-KWAAK!“. Double Dame shivered in fear as An erupted in maniacal laughter. Larie was being slapped around by his steroid-overdosed brother and the restaurant’s guests were finishing up their meals, because if McDonald’s food got any colder, it’d be my fucking bathroom floor in the morning. With no one to ask for help and An unwilling to listen, things weren’t looking good..! THE END ---- EPISODE 5 (Nov 26, 2019) (Click "Expand" to read this chapter)> In the last episode, Anny and Tee were in a music video and rule 63 Edd had encountered a great plot twist! Our story continues in McDonald’s, where the chicken battle has been skipped in its entirety and physically shitty girl-Edd pinned down by the evil An! “I’ll kill you a death, Double N!” An screamed. “Why, An! Why!” she sobbed. “This is for my butter.. AND MY LOVER!!” “But I’ve done nothing to Jay! Please!” “Not him!” An snarled, as she tightened her grip around Double Ann’s throat, “BUS-SAMA!” “Wh…Wha-” “That’s right! I know what happened! Not only did a witness see you INSIDE of her.. you also allowed your high school demon lord to steal her toast! Whereafter you left her to DIE!” “An! E-Everything went by so fast, I didn’t-” “BUT YOU DID! AND NOW I’M GONNA STEAL YOUR TOAST OF LIFE!” Anno ‘63 folded her hands in desperation and started praying to the Lord below. An was too strong and she a designated damsel in distress; she needed a man to solve her problems. Then, a bunch of Dutch people entered with signs in their hands and placed them in front of every visible McDonald’s logo in the room. “This is Amsterdam now.“ one of them spoke, whereafter the group left. Immediately after, a portal spawned and Tee the bat came judo-kicking out. “B-Batman! He is real, mother!” nearly dead Ann cried. Tee’s miniscule foot hit An in the face, sending her flying through a wall. Anny jumped out of the portal as well and helped nearly dead Ann stand up. “The Dutch colonized this place just in time so we could use the multi-universal Amsterdam teleport system to teleport here from our Amsterdam and save you after my demon lord Tee the gay bat heard your dying prayer!“ Anny rambled with alot of detail in order to explain how even. “Anny..“ nearly alive Ann mumbled misty-eyed, “I didn’t even know you were missing, honestly.” “Thanks for having faith in me, Double N!” Tee smiled heroically and gave a thumbs up, which looked weird because he didn’t have hands, “I’m a dying religion!” “Now let’s get that monster!” Anny said as the camera zoomed in on her confident gaze. “But Anny! We’re normal human people with no powers!” fully alive Ann argued. “Hah! Maybe you are, but watch this, Double N!” Anny raised her fist, showing some sort of gemstone ring that lit up the moment she spoke the magic words: “The name is Batty! ''The logic is erratic! ''Potato in a jacket! ''Toys in the attic!” *the floor trembles* “I ROCK AND I RAMBLE! ''MY BRAIN IS SCRAMBLED! ''RAP LIKE AN ANIMAL! ''BUT I’M A MAMMAAAAAAL!” Light consumed her and started a lengthy transformation scene that was really well animated, unlike the rest of the show. The room watched in awe while chewing on their lukewarm chicken nuggets and even Larie and Jay stopped fighting. “IMA WOMAAAAAAN!“ she yelled one last time without laughing, whereafter she reappeared in a red wig and a bat hero costume. Tears grew in gal-pal-Edd’s widened eyes, it was godlike and would surely attract millions of viewers. “Tee gave me rabies and our souls became one! Now I can use bat-related abilities like spreading more rabies!” Anny smiled. “I’m not going to question the logic, please help my lulzy husband!” BroaEdd begged. Anny grabbed the ends of her cape and flapped towards Larie and his deformed Hell-spawn of a brother. “Which one of you is the monster!” she demanded to know. “Okey, really?” Larie replied. “I’M THE MONSTER!” Jay’s voice boomed. “Omae wa mou SHINDEIRU!” Anny informed him and Jay exploded with rabies! “Wow.. such power..!” Larie enviously drooled. “NOOOOOOOOO!!!!” An shouted from a hole in the wall, “My pathway to butter!!” “Give it up, An!” Double Danielle scolded, “See what your hunger for butter and revenge has created! Another Amsterdam! Enough is enough!” “I-It’ll never be enough!” she blubbered and ran off, “I’m the villain now! You haven’t seen the last of me!” But they did. THE END Characters An An is the genderbent Ed. She starts out carefree, as for apathetic towards the things happening around her, but having no butter for her breakfast toast and then losing her job -rendering her unable to buy more- motivated her to join her demon lord in his quest for power. She also grew to hate Ann after being spotted riding the bus to work; which was apparently a living thing and her girlfriend. As Ann's demon lord destroyed this bus and the two then married, An became even more enraged. When An's demon lord has been defeated, she dubs herself the new villain of the series, but the story ends before she can properly fulfil this role. ----- Ann Ann is the genderbent Edd. After going through a series of undisclosed perverted scenes with her demon lord, they end up getting married with 5 children within an impossible amount of time. Another time plot hole is the presented fact she first summoned Larie 150 years ago. A running gag with Ann is that she's never properly called "Ann" or "Double N". Instead, references keep being made that she's Edd genderbent. ------ Anny Anny is the genderbent Eddy. She immediately kills her demon lord upon their reunion, but meets up with him in another world, where they develop a different relationship from the one they supposedly had prior, though the fanfiction ends without a conclusion. In one episode it's stated she and Tee knew each other since they were children. After Tee gave her rabies, she gained bat-related superpowers. --------- Tee Kanker Tee is the genderbent Lee and Anny's personal demon lord; insinuating she once summoned him from Hell. Anny killed him by accident, but his soul was transported to another world, allowing for him to get reborn as a bat. He's expressed no real concern for this. Both he and Anny take on a hero role in the climax of the story. ------ Larie Kanker Larie is the genderbent Marie and Ann's personal demon lord; insinuating she once summoned him from Hell. Larie mentioned that was 150 years ago and Ann stated in one episode she did so using the blood of her parents. He calls himself the rightful inheritor of his father's throne; the previous ruler of Hell, and claims to be extremely powerful. ------ Jay Kanker Jay is the genderbent May and An's personal demon lord; insinuating she once summoned him from Hell. He's jealous of Larie and wants to become the ruler of Hell instead of him. Because he knows to be the weaker brother, he goes out of his way to find their father's legendary sword off-screen, and returns at the end of the story buffed up by its magical properties. Parodied subjects Below is a list of shows or subjects that have been knowingly borrowed, either for the plot, the jokes, or in the title: * Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon? (manga/anime show) * That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime (manga/anime show) * Makai Ouji: Devils and Realist (manga/anime show) * Welcome to Demon School! Iruma-kun (manga/anime show) * The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. (manga/anime show) * Sailor Moon (manga/anime show) * Inuyasha (manga/anime show) * Fist of the North Star (manga/anime show) * Xenoblade Chronicles 2 (video game) * Final Fantasy X (video game) * The Sims (video game) * FernGully (animated movie) * Steven Universe: The Movie (animated movie) * Batwoman (2019 TV-show) * Youtube AMVs * Fourth-wave feminism * Twitter/Tumblr culture * Dutch colonizers See also *An, Ann n Anny *Ed, Edd n Eddy Working Category:Ed, Edd n Eddy Category:Fanfiction